So here it is, another summer and I have to tell my family "just give me a couple more months." My blog looks like crap, I haven't worked out in weeks, my nails are down to nubbins, every pencil in the house has a chewed on eraser and my street bike...sniff sniff... is dirty! I take her out as much as I can but there's no time to wash her!! My edits have gone from neurotic to, I've completely rewrote the dang book! Would have been so much faster if I just started over rather than rewriting all the time. So yes, I will lie to my mom and dad and tell them it will only be a couple more months before they get the Manuscript, but is it lieing if in my heart I WANT that to be true? Man I hate my 12th grade English teacher right now. Every time I find another mistake his condescending voice creeps into my head, "I'm so tired of seeing the back of your head Miller!! One day you'll regret not paying attention, I promise you!" To which I responded with an eye roll and a chuckle thinking, "I'm sure you're right, Mr. Comb Over, one day I will regret not knowing the difference between lay, lie, has lain and has gotten laid, whatever loser!" UGGHHH, who would of thought I could actually sit still long enough to write a letter let alone a book! Or three! Yeah, by the way I did figure out the difference between lay and lie but it merely took one writers conference with 2 women arguing about it to completely blend my brains like wheat grass in a hippy bar.
Last thought for the day-my blog looks like crap-Duh, I know. But I simply have no time to fix it. But, I will try to get to it because boy do I have some fun stories (and pictures) I want to share about my bike trips. So hang on, and hopefully "in a couple of months" LOL I should have this place all spruced up with pics. and all kinds of fun bike adventure stories. Here's a teaser, last trip I saw a cow, a deer and a fish all cross the road. The fish didn't make it...

So I read an amazing book. It taught me, in simple steps, how to be a better writer. The problem? I read it after submitting my first chapter to Al Zuckerman, (for those of you who don't know know that name, he's the FOUNDER of the largest agency in NY./Writers House) He is also the genius who wrote the book I read. UGHHHH! Live, learn and laugh till ya cry. Now, I have a new first chapter and I am proud to say, I LOVE IT!! Thanks ALBERT, to bad you'll never read it. Maybe you can catch it on the big screen some day. LOL... ANNNNNy Hooo, the rest of the book is having serious growing pains but in the end I know it will all be worth it. I can honestly say I feel the next book will be a breeze. It has to be right? I mean, I've learned, the hard and embarrassing way, (as usual) that a good story can't be rushed and the tools of the trade are out there, waiting for my greedy little mind to absorb them. K, I think I'll just walk away from the little mind comment and say to my family, the snow birds in MI, who are so patiently waiting to read my manuscript, thank you for WANTING to read it first of all, and...give me just 3 more months, lol. I know you've heard it before, but....its summer guys, (voice now whinny) and I gotta ride my motorcycle before it gets too cold. No, I will be finished, even if it kills me, by July. Last but certainly not least, I had the privilege to go and see Queensryche this past weekend, in Salt Lake. Just wanted to give a huge, (never to be heard) thank you to that band for their amazing and inspirational music and a special thanks the Mr. Tate for sharing his daughter's talents. It must have been a hard decision for his family. Watching him hold her hand, making sure she felt safe, was a feeling I would never know but was honored to watch. Good for you Geoff!!

I had a couple of people ask what inspired my story and if I could give a them a hint as to what it was about. Okay, not a couple, a ton. I know my blog is a bit vague, as am I. The truth is, there's a part of me most people don't know, a part I like to keep private or maybe its a part I'm ashamed of. I'd like to tell people my story is inspirational, or even uplifting, but tonight as I sit here, I decided I can't continue to hide who I really am just so others will accept me. The truth is, my story is about a darkness, that has haunted me every since I was a little girl. I can't remember the last time I actually slept without waking to a scream or my heart pounding through my chest as I thank God for letting me wake. I'd like to say there's an underlying reason for my nightmares, at least then I would understand. But, there isn't, its just the hand I have been given so, here's how I decided to play it. I created Twains Meet. I have to give a big thanks (even though they'll probably never know) to Queensryche, for all the inspirational music I played while writing, its a Mind Crime thing. Sure, I listened to other stuff but this group has been a part of my life for so long-nothing gets to me like the sound of Geoff Tate's voice-wonderful singer! And yet again, I remain vague as to the storyline. Sorry, maybe tomorrow.

I'm in the process of editing my story for the final time before sending out my queries to potential agents. Creating a story for the first time was such an amazing journey. The countless hours hovering over my computer seemed to fly by, sleepless nights didn't hinder my focus in any way. I never once asked myself if it was worth it. I just wanted to prove to my children that hard work and perseverance in itself is success; and if you did your best, never bending or saying "Its too hard," or "I'm not as good as them," then the product of your trials is a better you; a "you" you didn't even know existed, and that's when the divinity given to each of us is allowed to grow. I want my boys to see my rejections when they come; and they will. I want them to see how much pain it causes when you think you've done your best and find its not good enough. I want them to see me continue to work hard and struggle, no matter how hard, or how impossible my situation seems to be. Because we all have to experience that , right? There's no "Bail-outs" when it comes to real life. I'm outlining another book; I had already outlined 2 comedies but they didn't have the drive I needed; they felt forced. This new story will be a turning point in my life; an awakening of sorts. "Fallen Mercy" will by far be the hardest project I've ever attempted. I can't wait.

New Location!

I'm back! This site is new. I had it relocated from another location so I would have more freedom to respond to comments. That being said, its a work in progress. Any comments on typo's will be noted and given to the VPO of the "Whatever Dept." and all other constructive comments will be handled by me personally. Family and friends have totally made this journey so fun for me and I just wanted to take a moment and give a big thanks for your faith in me and a my story.

Amon's thoughts:

"I had no other choice. I betrayed them all, submitting to the enemy to save our nation from the inevitable death that awaited us. Maybe it was pride that caused so much of my sorrow, knowing I failed to keep my covenants, or perhaps it was the thought of spending the rest of eternity, a monster, spellbound in purgatory, waiting for my angel to come. There was no comfort in finding the face that haunted my visions and plagued my heart. My very soul was bound to the depths of hell knowing that when my angel with the eyes of the devil came to dance for me, my hand would be forced to take her life; freeing her beautiful soul from the evil contamination that drove her to maddness- it was my curse. Until the moment of her betrayal, I would be her guardian for my own selfish needs and her teacher of bravery by tormenting her dreams; all in hopes of changing the hands of fate. By all of this I pray she sees the evil in what she may become. I will be her demon in hopes of keeping her an angel... my angel, my 'Jameel.' "