I had a couple of people ask what inspired my story and if I could give a them a hint as to what it was about. Okay, not a couple, a ton. I know my blog is a bit vague, as am I. The truth is, there's a part of me most people don't know, a part I like to keep private or maybe its a part I'm ashamed of. I'd like to tell people my story is inspirational, or even uplifting, but tonight as I sit here, I decided I can't continue to hide who I really am just so others will accept me. The truth is, my story is about a darkness, that has haunted me every since I was a little girl. I can't remember the last time I actually slept without waking to a scream or my heart pounding through my chest as I thank God for letting me wake. I'd like to say there's an underlying reason for my nightmares, at least then I would understand. But, there isn't, its just the hand I have been given so, here's how I decided to play it. I created Twains Meet. I have to give a big thanks (even though they'll probably never know) to Queensryche, for all the inspirational music I played while writing, its a Mind Crime thing. Sure, I listened to other stuff but this group has been a part of my life for so long-nothing gets to me like the sound of Geoff Tate's voice-wonderful singer! And yet again, I remain vague as to the storyline. Sorry, maybe tomorrow.

I'm in the process of editing my story for the final time before sending out my queries to potential agents. Creating a story for the first time was such an amazing journey. The countless hours hovering over my computer seemed to fly by, sleepless nights didn't hinder my focus in any way. I never once asked myself if it was worth it. I just wanted to prove to my children that hard work and perseverance in itself is success; and if you did your best, never bending or saying "Its too hard," or "I'm not as good as them," then the product of your trials is a better you; a "you" you didn't even know existed, and that's when the divinity given to each of us is allowed to grow. I want my boys to see my rejections when they come; and they will. I want them to see how much pain it causes when you think you've done your best and find its not good enough. I want them to see me continue to work hard and struggle, no matter how hard, or how impossible my situation seems to be. Because we all have to experience that , right? There's no "Bail-outs" when it comes to real life. I'm outlining another book; I had already outlined 2 comedies but they didn't have the drive I needed; they felt forced. This new story will be a turning point in my life; an awakening of sorts. "Fallen Mercy" will by far be the hardest project I've ever attempted. I can't wait.